ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize