Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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