Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I think I just sharted jello shots
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