my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
