i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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