I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
