Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
