it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Randomize
