Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
