You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
