8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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