it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
