We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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