Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize