i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
