Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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