you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Bring me that man meat
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
