Kiss
Puke
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Floor bacon is actually really good
Randomize
