speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
