AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize