i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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