What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I need to sanitize my soul.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize