the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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