he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
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I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
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hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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