Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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