babies were throwing up all over the place
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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