what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
