lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Shitshow foam night was such a success
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
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