when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
