Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
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you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
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I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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