i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
