Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
