Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
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Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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