Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
