Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I party with great urgency now.
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