dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I CAN MOONWALK!
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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