I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
