oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
