Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
