that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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