Please don't use social media to get back at me.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
