Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
