Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
