Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
