how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
