I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i think i have two assholes
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
