i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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