there was a trapeze. enough said
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
