turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
