Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
