Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
