I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
