grandma shit on top of the toilet
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
His hands were made for my vagina.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Randomize
