I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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