just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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