you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Randomize