Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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