That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
