yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
