Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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