so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
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Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
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woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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