so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
