Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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