It's Friday. Sex?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
