i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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