Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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