It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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